A disconnect

I think people really underestimate the terrors of junior year. Sure, people tell you “good luck,” and warn you of the SATs, but there is so much that goes unsaid. The biggest promise I made to myself when I started this blog was to always be candid, and although people looove to be judgmental, I stand by my word.

Junior year was the most disconnected I have ever felt, and all of it does have a to do with the academic and social pressures. I’m somebody who values art and self-reflection, and I can’t tell if the academic accomplishments are worth being so separated from what makes me myself. I don’t remember the last time I practiced “I Will” by The Beatles or “Edelweiss” from The Sound of Music on the piano to be able to play them for my future children. I don’t remember the last time I sewed. I don’t remember the last time I sat behind a potter’s wheel. I don’t even remember the last time I wrote for this blog — and, for that, my apologies for ghosting you all. I swear, all I have left is my style but that’s something you could never take away from me. This feels even worse because we live in a day in age where everything seems to be taken over by technology and lack of human connection is at all all-time high. With human art or your history teacher's lesson plans being replaced by artificial intelligence, it’s hard to feel like you’re doing anything wrong by being disconnected because everybody is as well. Now that I’m not attending school everyday and scrambling to ask for letters of recommendation, it’s all the more clear how much I have really lost by not being connected to the arts. They are what fuels somebody with emotion and passion, and without that I am very plain. We all know I’m usually not plain whatsoever.

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, so I encourage rising seniors to go out and do the things that truly make you happy. Personally, I plan to skip around all jolly for the rest of the summer (and the rest of my life) because that’s what makes me joyful. I want to see paintings, runs, singing, and smiles. I won’t settle for anything less. On the bright side, all the stress will be over by the time it’s 2026.

If you’re going into junior year: brace yourself, but you’ll 100 percent make it out alive. Focus on school, yourself, and your happiness. People threw me the craziest curveballs throughout the past year and my main advice is to just kill people with kindness and mind your own business. As long as you do that, you’re truly not the problem and knowing that is more reassuring than anything.

I missed you guys a lot, and I'll be seeing you.

Best,

Eila